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Thursday 21 October 2010

[Ayu's Diary] 18.10.2010 Our 7 DAYS WAR.

Our 7 DAYS WAR.
18 October 2010. 1:06am

Just what kind of emotion and situation made our troupe choose to take up this challenge of creating an unparalleled stage, I have no intention of explaining that now. But, the truth of it was there, clearly, for all to see with their very eyes, and I think that is quite enough. These 7 days will surely remain with us and all those who fought with us, from now till the future...

That is what I believe.

That is what I wish.

More under the cut!

At first, I thought that if I were to go through with this war and win, I'd probably end up as ash, because of what they call the burn-out syndrome.

And because of this, from the beginning till the night? dawn?? before the final show, I kept feeling all the pain and loneliness associated with "the beginning of the end". All kinds of thoughts plagued me, and I couldn't sleep.

It's as if... I know it sounds absurd, but if this was going to be my best stage and I can never do better anymore, won't this final tour be the end of me? That was what I thought.

I decided to just cast this thought aside for the time being and think about it after the tour ended.

Yes, that day, when the curtain finally closed for the last time, and we all went backstage, everyone in the troupe (yes, me included. (laugh)) was just crying non-stop and hi-fiving and going,

"Darn it, I love you--------------!!!"

And thinking, just what am I saying!!! Confessions of love from my heart? With that, I returned to my make-up room.

I changed out of costume, and when it hit me that it was time for my speech, I was so afraid of how I had to talk about plans for the next stage, my heart just went DON DON DON DON non-stop. I will never ever forget that moment for the rest of my life.

I couldn't say it well then, and it was vexing, but...

What I said was basically, from now on, our troupe will create a shining dream world, and I could clearly see us doing just that. And that will, of course, be a higher hurdle that what we've come over today. (laugh) I believe that whatever we want to make into reality, we will be able to do it. And though it may seem too fast, orders for the material for the next stage have already been placed. (So hurry and let's go. (laugh))

Since then...

From the moment I wake till the moment I sleep, every single day, I have been doing video checks. But only the last day's show of 7 days war remained unwatched till now.

Of course, all that emotion... from us warriors fighting together... there's no need to watch the video for me to be filled with memories.

That's why I haven't watched it yet.

At first, I didn't understand why I couldn't watch it... But now, I have found a reason in my heart.

It is because I could still remember every detail of that day, with all my senses.

And that is better than any data or recording.

Plus, we have been saying this all our lives, haven't we?

To fight till the very last moment, without thinking about losing.

To live without looking back.

To live honestly.

And thus, without surrender, protecting the place where we are, super troupe leader baby will soon face forward, and start walking steadily again.

Towards the best ♪

Translation: Misa-chan @ AHS
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